Yes, that's right. Friends and colleagues told me I was out of my mind when I made that decision. I had been a career woman for 10 years and I left it all to take care of my kids. And my aging parents.
Some people told me, "sayang naman pinag-aralan mo kung magiging plain housewife ka lang" (you'd be wasting your educational degree if you'd just settle to be a plain housewife). I guess, only a mother could understand why I did it. Come to think of it; if we see kids misbehaving, we usually question the kind of discipline or upbringing their parents (especially the mother) do to these kids. But if women decide to forego a career to take care of the family, people will still have something to say.
The transition from being a working woman to a full-time mother was difficult for me. I got through a denial stage. Or maybe it was culture-shock. I really don't know what to call it but definitely, I've gone through some form of a depression. I had been so used to waking up at 5AM, put on make-up, dress for the office, and be out of the house the whole day, doing routine work everyday for the past decade. And then BAM! I am unemployed.
I didn't know what to do. I know that there were a lot of things that needed to be done but I didn't know where to start. Was it what they call the "retirement blues"? I had been programmed for the past 10 years to open the computer and do my stuff on it from 8am to 5PM. Suddenly, I am at a loss. It's like a limb had been cut off from me I didn't know how to function. I'd wake up at 7am, fix the kids, fix myself, open the laptop, check my Facebook account the whole day and witness how some FB friends bash each other or do some unexpected stuff (mahilig pala ang kumare ko sa mga online games, hehe), and read all the showbiz news online (Uy, ano na ba ang latest? Sinong young starlet na naman ang nasa BI ngayon?).
It took me months to finally settle into the role I decided to be actively involved in. And that is to be a mother to my kids.
By then I realized that a stay-at-home mother (SAHM)'s job is not easy. Some people would tell SAHM, "buti pa kayo pa easy-easy lang. Paupo-upo lang sa sala at nood ng telenovela. Makakatulog kung gusto ninyong matulog. At walang boss na nagbabantay sa inyo." (you are lucky, you can have it easy. You can just sit around and watch soap operas. You can go to sleep whenever you want to. You have no boss to order you around). I had heard this very often. And admittedly, I had the same thoughts too before. But then, having experienced both worlds, I can say that an SAHM's job is definitely not easy. And my God, my master's degree in Management was definitely put to good use! I had to do budgeting, marketing, planning (what snacks to prepare, what activities/games to play with the kids to keep them busy, what will be the menu the next day, and when to bring the kids to the doctor). I became a baker, a teacher, a doctor for my kid's little boo-boos, an event organizer when Naya wants to have a tea party with her dolls, a magician, an arbiter when the kids have fights, and an entertainer, among other things. "Buti pa ang empleyado pwedeng mag file nang leave of absence". A full-time mom could not. And the duty is 24/7 too. And there's no overtime pay. Now, who's to say we have it easy?
Of course, we have our perks. Now, I have the time to really do stuff that I like. Like taking my kids on afternoon strolls sometimes; baking cakes and cookies with Naya; prepare Oyen's snack and bag for school; be there at the kids' school events and family days, and just be there when they needed me. These were the things that I had been missing for the past five years. And heck, I definitely had been missing a lot!
"at ansarap pala manood nang telenovela sa hapon...nakaka-relax nga. Ang ganda pa rin ni Eula Valdez. Nagkaka-crush na yata ako kay Ejay Falcon. At , may gulay! nakaka-entertain ang sabunutan, sigawan at tadyakan sa Face to Face!" (^-^)
Of course, I have to earn too. We are just a typical middle-class Filipino family. My husband's salary as a state university professor, (God bless my husband) is not enough for the needs of the kids (kaya nga nagpapaka-photographer na nga sya eh). And so I became the ultimate "raketera". Raket dito raket doon. We have a small business that I managed remotely. By that I mean, calling my shop helper every so often for updates, and visiting the shop 2-3 times a week. I also sold siomai, lumpia shanghai, french fires, organic shampoo, organic conditioner, organic massage oil, and organic make up (yes there is!). Heck, if I can sell my hair, I'll sell it too!
Last year, I joined a financial institution as a financial advisor where I can work as a free lancer. It's a job I'm beginning to embrace because it let me be who I want to be: a mother first, then a career woman. This job allows me to apply the things I learned in graduate school and the skills I developed in my previous jobs. It's a career albeit I don't go to the office everyday. I just go out and meet clients when I WANT to, and when I NEED to. Now I can definitely say, I have the best of both worlds.
I've always believed that life is like a book. Each day is a new page; each stage is a new chapter. At this point in my life, I think I'm already in Chapter 4. We all write our own stories. Our stories is affected by each decision we make. I am glad I made that big switch.
Now, what's our song selection tomorrow Oyen? Let's try "On Top of Spaghetti, shall we?
You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen.
~ by Paulo Coelho ( By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept)
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